Monday, November 19, 2007

Is it Christmas Already? Bah Humbug! by Jeff aka "The Grinch".

Well this is truly one of the worst weeks of the year. No I am not talking about Alabama's pathetic Loss to Louisiana-Monroe, and upcoming beat down by Auburn. Yes the Holiday season is right around the corner and the chaos and stress of the season has already begun.

Now don't get me wrong I get the whole "birth of the Savior" part of the season (even if Jesus was not born in December)....but beyond that I HATE Christmas. That's right I said it, Christmas stinks. You run all over the place trying to please everyone, eating too much, spending too much, fighting traffic and generally stressing out. So here is how the season got kicked off at the Smith house. I spent Friday and Saturday deer hunting and enjoying the peace and tranquility of nature only to have it ruined by Alabama Losing to La-Monroe (some school nobody ever heard of). Then the weekend took a turn for the worse if you can believe that. Yes, my wife announced that "we" would be putting up the Christmas tree. Of course I was overjoyed! (actually overcome with dread) After missing my Sunday afternoon nap and weekly run to Sams and Lowes, I started pulling all of the Christmas stuff out of the attic. After lugging all 3000 pounds of it downstairs, I began attempting to assemble our artificial tree.

Several years ago I was hoodwinked into purchasing a "pre-lit" tree. (read rip off) Oh it looked great the first year, then last year half the lights burned out and this year there were about 5 lights that worked. After replacing about 20 bulbs my patience wore thin and I decided it would be easier to rip off the stupid lights and replace them with string lights rather than replace all 800 of the other lights. In reality, we should have taken the tree to the curb, and went and bought a new one. Of course I didn't have an extra 500 bucks to burn, so after 5 hours of stripping lights and wire off the tree until my fingers bled it was done. It was 10:00 and we had a bare tree! Thank goodness I had to go to work the next day or the Warden....I mean Lindsey.... would have made me stay up until 2 a.m. until it was finished (can you say OCD?) Of course when I came home from work today the tree was finished and the rest of the stuff was up and our house was all lit up. Of course Lindsey ran around like a crazy person all day and paid the maid extra to stay and help her finish, but either way it was finished. Christmas had officially come to the Smith house on November 18th!

I used to Love Christmas when I was a kid. I always set up our tree at home, then I would go and set up the tree at my grandmothers house as well. I really looked forward to doing it. My "Granny Rose" had the coolest trees. I would always spend an entire Saturday putting up her Christmas stuff, drinking all the Grape Nehi or Sundrop I could hold, and eating corn dogs or pizza all day. Over the years she had real trees, fake trees, and I can even remember setting up an all aluminum tree with bright blue ornaments. It even had the little rotating light that would shine on the tree and make it actually change colors.

My favorite thing was putting all the ornaments on her tree. Of course she had the usual glass balls in all sorts of colors, but my favorite were all of the odd ornaments that all of the grandchildren had made over the years. There were plastic animals with spray paint on them, paper mac he', cloth cutout stars, and of course lots of spray glued red and green glitter on just about everything. It really was special to be able to spend that kind of time together, just the two of us, laughing and talking about life. She was always interested in anything I wanted to talk about. Even though I might have only been 10 years old she would always listen to my "problems". (like a 10 year old has problems.)

She was such a sweet person. Even though she didn't have a lot of money for presents she always had something for everyone that came to her house for Christmas and I mean everyone. Whoever showed up got something. Of course the gifts were very predictable. Men got either Isotoner gloves, a Flannel shirt, or the latest cologne from Avon. Ladies got either Isotoner gloves, a night gown, or you guessed it.....Avon Perfume. (When she passed away, they found an entire wardrobe in her bedroom stuffed full of unopened Avon products. I guess she was planning on a lot more Christmases with us. If only she were still here to give me some Avon one more time.)

You know I would give just about anything to put up her Christmas tree just one more time, but of course once those days are gone you can't get them back. That's what Christmas is really all about. Making memories with the people you love the most. Not rushing around from party to party to see a bunch of people you don't really know that well, and buying a bunch of presents that people don't need. Its about taking time to just talk to the ones you truly love and showing them you really helping them put up their Christmas tree. Now that I think about it I might actually hate Christmas after all.....(Just don't tell anybody, it would ruin my image as "The Grinch".)

Now all we have to do is survive the rest of the season....


Mizerany Family said...

I hear ya scrooge! If it weren't for Bennett - I wouldn't even decorate! Very funny post!